I once knew a vagina, it was warm and full of fluff,
like a soft, pink, peach, blocked with furry stuff.
One day, I decided to extract this obstruction,
so I bent down, pursed my lips and applied some suction.
Much to my surprise, the blockage was a non mover,
so I ran downstairs to a cupboard and fetched out the Hoover.
Attachment in place, cable unwound, I plugged into the power,
then I carefully inserted the tube into the blossoming flower.
With a flick of the switch, a roar of dust, the vacuum cleaner started,
I advise you not to read on if you are of the faint hearted!
Amongst various organs and items for safe sex,
a foetus, a lamp shade and other strange objects
the original obstacle still wouldn’t free,
so I decided on drastic action to release the debris.
A barrel full of Semtex, some dynamite and a grenade
were shovelled into the cervix with a rusty garden spade.
After taking the precaution of vacating all the way to the South Pole,
I detonated my explosives using a neat remote control.
On my return I found, to my surprise, a crater 2 miles deep
and at the bottom, amongst the flesh, was a rather bewildered sheep.